Day 14-16: Scared as Shit

Hopefully I can get back to remembering/not being lazy and blog at night.

I have been struggling lately. A lot.

I go back to work full time on Tuesday. I'm excited to start this new chapter, but so scared of the unknown. I am very much a creature of habit and have a nice cushy routine that I have literally been on for almost 2 years. And for that to change, I'm nervous.

I'm nervous about leaving my kid.

I'm nervous about working full time.

I'm nervous about not reaching my potential.

I know I have support, but sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one who just keeps looking at myself and saying "you can do this". I know my husband is supportive and he's totally okay with this. I know I'm not the first mom in the history of the world who went back to work. But I feel like I'm the only mom who's making the choice to work. I don't have to. I don't need to work full time. I don't need to work even part time. I don't need to work. I want to work. I'm tired of only talking to my kid or kids at work. I rarely get to chat with friends unless our kids are involved.

I want to talk to people. Talk to people about things other than tantrums, cheese strings, and poop.

I'm hoping that once I'm totally into the routine it will be easier. I know it's never going to be totally easy. It's going to suck going from taking my kid wherever I want during business hours to having to do stuff on the weekends like the rest of the population.

I'm so nervous. Hopefully I made the right choice.

-Bailey

ps. I know there isn't anything in here about my diet, but I'm hoping you can surmise that it hasn't been great and I've gotten on and off this bandwagon so much that I have bruises.